Saturday, August 22, 2009

It was like really awful porn.

Did some vacuuming today and the vacuum cleaner wasn't working very well. Didn't have much suction power and I could smell something burning in it. We flipped it over and nothing was smoking but we could smell it; it was like dust was getting hot and singing a bit. So we open the intake and find the hose entirely clogged (not surprising considering Dad's wealthy, spoiled brat of a boss threw the thing away and we snapped it up for free). We tried to shake it loose but only a few puffs of dust would come out. Not even water, poured into one end over a sink, would flow through the mass. So for the next ten minutes, me and Dad had to "massage" it out.

We stood over a large plastic garbage bag in the kitchen, Dad holding one end of the hose as high as he could, the both of us vigorously jerking off the huge black rubber dick of a vacuum hose, yelling such things as "Find the lump and rub it!" or "There, some just came out!". Dad even tried using his mouth at one point to blow some of it out. And then several huge clumps of hair and dust and debris shot out of the end and into the bag in two or three spurts like the world's biggest money shot short of Animal Planet's elephant, whale, and rhinocerous mating habit special.

I'm not sure I can look Dad in the eye for a while.

2 comments:

  1. LOLOL!!!!

    I assume it was all worth it though? The vacuum is now cooperating? hehehe

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes, it's in working order now. Not sure it was worth it though.

    ReplyDelete